Let’s have a heart to heart about this journey. Like many of you, I belong to restoration groups, ministries and subscribe to a few restoration channels. There is so much information out there that it could cloud your judgment. No contact, stay in contact, pray for the mistress, pray against her…so many voices. We love to hear the opinions of others on this topic because let’s face it…it gives us a certain level of comfort knowing how we can control or manipulate our situations. But, I think it’s important that we have a healthy perspective. We should remind ourselves that someones testimony is their own and the advice that someone gives is based on their own opinion. It is important that we stand firm on our foundation, Jesus. We need to allow ourselves to be led by the Holy Spirits guidance on our own journey.
Could you be prolonging your stand by keeping most of the focus on your spouse or obsessing over information in this season? I don’t want to minimize that Standing is in fact an obstacle. It will be one of the most difficult trials that many of us will face in our life time. But, if we approach this season of our life with a set of spiritual lenses then we will see that there is more than what meets the eye in “Standing.”
Over the course of the last four years, I have spoken to restored couples, individuals in the midst of standing and having gone through standing myself, I see that the Lord takes us through a series of steps to reach reconciliation and restoration. Every situation is different. But what remains the same in every single story is two things. God wants to become both parties first love and Standing is a call for a deeper intimacy with the Father.
You see, we enter into this thing believing that standing is only about our marriage. If you get through it successfully, you will understand that restoration is just a piece of a spiritual puzzle. No doubt the Lord is working on your behalf, pulling your rebellious spouse in, drawing them closer to his heart. But as the covenant keeping spouse, he wants to not only use you as a vessel but also wants to elevate you spiritually.
I believe many of our seasons are stretched out longer because we find our sole purpose in winning back our spouse. We obsess and are in such a place of desperation that we miss the very beautiful work God is presenting to us. What is the barrier that stands in the gap of the restoration? Isn’t that ironic? Aren’t we supposed to be the one standing in the gap? We don’t get to stand in the gap until we remove the barrier. Is it bitterness? Un-forgiveness, disobedience, idolatry, addiction, an unfulfilled calling, surrender? God wants to be at the very head of the marriage. He can not play less than or equal to your spouse. He must be first.
So how do we keep from prolonging the stand?
One word….submit. Submit yourself. I have to emphasise, you. You are the issue. You must get out of the way of yourself by surrendering your all to the Lord. Yes, even the marriage. Lay it at his feet. If you are already here, GREAT! So now, Trust. Will you trust him in the waiting? Will you continuously seek his face? Will your praise him? Will you continue to meet him in the secret place? God wants to go deep. When we submit and trust we will find it enjoyable to delight ourselves in him. He will give you all the peace and joy you need to endure the wait.